But I digress. I went back to work at 4 months post partum to a brand new job. Yes, having to learn a new system, meet all new people and patients all while figuring out when/how to pump efficiently and fighting back post partum hormonal surges is a lot to take on. As a result, I spent a lot of the first few weeks back as a weepy mess (post work - no tears were shed at work thankfully). But the weeks have flown by, and I have gotten into a bit of a routine.
The highlights:
1. I like working and I'm glad to be back.
2. I like working part time and I'm glad to be working 3 days.
3. Often it feels like being at work is easier than being at home (but definitely not always as fun or as rewarding).
4. Pumping is freakin' hard work. A big shout out to all the working mamas out there who have lived through hooter hiders, excessive cleaning of pump parts and daycare bottles, and the drone of the pump in the background while on the phone with patients.
5. Getting to and from daycare on time is a bear.
6. Getting to and from daycare without any screaming coming from the backseat is a challenge.
7. "sleeping through the night" is to me an urban legend.
8. Daycare = germ cesspool = constant illness for baby and parents = functioning on less sleep than I had ever thought possible (see number 7).
Reviewing the above list, I guess it's pretty clear that work life/home life balance is tough and fraught with constantly evolving challenges. But in general I'm feeling good about trying to juggle it all. I've heard a lot of women say that when they worked part time they felt like they did a mediocre job at work and at home. I certainly don't feel similarly at this point. Though I guess to get a real judgement on that you should ask my patients. The child seems to be thriving, though until he can speak we can't fully be sure I suppose.
My job is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I miss certain aspects of my old job, namely a familiar panel of patients heavy on kids, pregnant women, and gyn procedures. In my current post I travel from clinic to clinic wherever there is need on a certain day. I rarely see the same patient twice. And it sometimes involves excessive travel time. But, of course, there is a certain beauty in getting to say, "Wow, those are a lot of issues you are dealing with. Let's tackle one and have you follow up with your regular primary care doctor for the other seven you'd like to discuss today." I also especially like to respond, "Oh, I'm so sorry. You can't switch from your regular doctor to me because I don't have my own panel of patients" to the anxious, depressed, overweight, pre-diabetic smoker chronic pain patient.
But I like getting to see different clinics and different patient populations. And I do have to admit that being able to communicate with my patients in English is a real joy after having 95% interpreted visits at my last post as family doctor. Perhaps most importantly, my current schedule is flexible, allowing me the luxury of being able to be home 2 days at week with the wee little one.
Speaking of that wee little one, he isn't so wee anymore! He is just starting to eat solid foods (by eat I mean we smear things on his lips and he smacks them together a few times while making funny faces), he can shimmy his way around the floor a bit (gone are the days of leaving him and running to do something in the other room), he is super giggly and smiley, and naps for an appreciable amount of time multiple times a day. A lot of people say that hitting the 3 month mark is huge in that you're officially out of the "fourth trimester". Perhaps. But I think the 6 month mark is more momentous. At least it has been over in our neck of the woods.
All in all we are smoothing out the kinks and making it all happen these days. Easy to say while the little one is napping, though!
Congrats!! Sounds like you are doing amazing! Dying to meet Jules!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Jules